stumbling

flat on my face again …. i roll over, look up to the sky and wonder what the hell is going on.

and the answer is that i have fallen over yet another set of limiting beliefs that until that moment i had no idea were there. the latest bunch is around work, earning money, making a difference, being out there in the world – a real tangle of beliefs that take me away from peace and being fully creative.

i get so tired of it all sometimes – the cycle of one step forward and two (or 8!) back as i uncover these layers of should’s and ought to’s which hide in the shadows just waiting to trip me up.  and i get up and do the work, shine some light into the darkness and am able to move on, clearer than before.

and in this brighter space i can acknowledge that things are changing – i am changing. how i have been in the world up until now doesn’t suit me anymore. and that the new edges of myself that i am finding have been worth the effort of going, seriously, off piste and that the journey is worth it. i have set myself adrift, refusing to land on safe and familiar looking shores and finally i have caught sight of new land which is where i am now headed – i will keep you posted!

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“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time” Andre Gide